I don’t know why I’ve fallen for you but it just happen. And I’ve been wanting to tell you so much but I don’t have the courage to do so. Scared that I will lose you. But now, looks like I’ve lost you forever and it happened even without me telling you of how I truly feel about you. I’ve lose you to someone who is far more better than me, who has actually captured your heart and what did you say? There is a word that you use of how much you have fallen for him.

You know, I’ve been crying myself to sleep every time I think about you. Stupid huh? But it happened. And after so long for not meeting you, when you tell me of your adventures, I actually got jealous. I wish I was them being with you. I hated the 17 year old boy who’s with you. I hated those houses that you paid too. But all I could do is smile. And be happy for what you have experienced and enjoyed.

And after so long of waiting, you finally invited me over and your touched... God, your touch gives me great relieved. It’s like you are my ecstasy. I was high and it was only for a few moments. Though I never show it, but I was so happy & glad to have actually seen you and to have you by my side. I was happy, very happy. Very, very happy.

And then you disappeared. You say that you were busy with work and stuff. And I, yes I believed you. But little did I know that you have actually fallen in love with someone else. And you never know of how much I’m shattering inside and trembling outside. I was dumbfounded. Yes, I was dumbfounded by you. Need you ask why? Can’t you tell by how I change in my typing so fast, can’t you tell of how I’ve been acting lately, after your M.I.A.? Can’t you tell?

I am so upset, so jealous, so hurt, and so heartbroken. I’ve waited for you and here you are telling me that you are attached to someone. And so for the past few weeks that you’ve been gone, you are actually having lunch with your partner, kissing your partner, having your partner in bed, and actually working out for your partner. And Lord I swear, I am far beyond words to describe how I feel. And dare you ask me "what’s wrong? / Am I okay?" Can’t you tell? That I do not know what to say because I have finally lost. I’ve lost you. And all I can do now is smile. I have to smile because I don’t want to lose you as a friend now that I have lost you as a "lover" I have to be happy for you. And I have been repeating it over and over again because I don’t know what to say. All I say is "I’m happy for you." And being happy for you is all I can do =)