Tuesday, February 26, 2008
What have you ppl have against me??? I'm used to be lonely... but...I never felt so lonely before than this!!!
I can't stand life anymore, why don't god just take my life and let me live this cruel place!!!
I'm weak in my studies(especially maths) , I'm not a good monitor, I got problems with my friends, I got problems with my family(especially my lil bro.) and I got problems with my past...
There's just too much of thought in my head...
My studies sucks!!! I failed my maths; which is my weakest subject ever...Edward is right, no matter how hard I study, I will just fail my maths!!! I will fail my physics, geography, social studies, and now I will flun my art(my biggest pride ever)
One delivery for me to be a monitor
!!! no thanks!!!! The class chosed me to be a monitor just because they want to sabotage me!!! I have no right in a being a monitor!!! I make annoucement for them((either an instruction from the teachers or to pay money) , they will just think that I am being bosy, a busy body!!! They don't respect me and they will never will. No matter how hard I clean the class, it will always be messy. From now on, I will not bother about the "stupid FUCKING" class ever!!I NEVER CARED! I DON'T CARE! I WILL NVER CARE! I'M JUST NOT BOTHERED!!!
What are friends for??? Ya right!!! hell with the stupid quote!!! Sharmilla, whom I considered the best friend I've ever had, had actually turn me down, Now she is totally ignoring me!!!(Fine, if that is what she wants, then let it be)
. No I realised that she has just been using me in any work that conserns art(look who's taking advantage of who?)
She is now ignoring Atiqah cause Atiqah is the reason for her not getting high marks like her other classmates(isn't that just being self-centered?) I told Atiqah about it, but Atiqah don't belive it, she said that "Sharmilla is just busy with her and even if she's angry with her, it wont be tat reason"
Sabirah, Adila , they treat me differently now, it look s just sooo "charact" to me....
My past has not been made easy for me either, ppl just call me..............
Lets face it, I'm just a dumb "GAY-BOY"....
Why do they have to call me that? What have I done to them? What have they against me?
I grew up without a father, he's dead for all i care!!!
I was brought up without a male-influence in my life.
I was surrounded with my mother(women), my grandmother(women), my grand-aunts(women), my female cousins(women), even if there was guys, they will be either schooling or working!!!
I befriend with girls... 'cause I'm used to be with girls.... NOW HAS THIS GOT TO BE A PROBLEM WITH YOU GUYS!!!
I know I act 'lembut' sometimes, but pls think, i didn't do it purposely!!! I tried hard not to be but .....
GOD; ALLAH; CHRIST; BUDDHAH whatever gods there are seems to not love me anymore, No... They never had loved me, not even a granted prayers or to coax me whem I'm sad.
Leave me alone.........................................................................................................................
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Yan danced till dawn at 10:41 PM
