Memories... happiness bitter sweet or sour locked up in a box...

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Life is a beautiful thing.

But Life can also bring us to our miseries.

I do not know why, but I feel as though there is something missing in my life right now.

(NO, its not love, believe me, I've been looking and certainly to no avail)

I know that I am not the most or very or a popular guy in school, let alone class, but that have been no problem to me. D. is labeled for his cuteness. E. is labeled as the 'ang-mo' girl. The indian boys as The indian boys. etc.

But I am labeled as the 'gay', soft, watever name u can think of.

Right now, I really feel as though there is something missing.

Its as though there is some secret that is shared among ppl and they don wan to tell me. Am I an .........?

I can see ppl are getting closer to another. Ppl are controling one another. Ppl change. Ppl improve.

But WHAT DO I Have? Ppl tell me that Im sweet, nice, etc. but am I? Or is it that you just want to make me feel something that I don noe?

..................urgh...........wtf.............

I wonder if I can just keep things to myself? Ppl wont care anyway. They have their own problems, & Im sure that it is more important then mine.

I will just 'help' them, laugh at my own problems, run away from it & if they (problems) do catch up, I'll just run futher away.........

Ppl wont care, & its certainly I dont either......

Yan danced till dawn at 6:22 AM

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Hais.... Time flies, new problems arrived & old problems are solved. However not all old problems may be solved, some are there to stay.

I feel frustrated on myself (wonder if that is a wrong use of words?). I either voluntarily get myself in trouble or IT just come to me voluntarily. I know that my troubles are not that worse compared to the children of the world; some are hungry, orphaned, abandoned, tortured, etc. But.........

I know what kind of advice to be use as to solve my problems but I dont take advice really well. It just pissed me off, its as though my troubles are here to stay. And no Freewill, it has nothing to do with my family!!!

If only I know who you are, I would tell you all my troubles & problems for you to solve (and not to spread). Right now, I need my friends & family, but I feel that, that is not enough. I need something more.

Mid-yr is coming down fast & not to mention O-levels. I have no motivation to study. Seeing E. , D. , evryone studying makes me envy of them but I dont have their will to put up with this rubbish (well, maybe not entirely). I sleep, I eat, I slack. Its as though all facts & senses are knocked out of me.

I dont have the will to study. The winds refuse to obey me. I eat alot. Argh!!! I swear if these are signs of stress, I will kill myself & get myself to oblivion!!!

Yan danced till dawn at 7:41 AM

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Today, finally, I had my lobe pierced. There was tension everywhere (at least felt by me anyway). I know that it is no big deal but it is my first time and my family of course will not allow it.

N. , A. , U. , E. & S. followed me to the shop, God, my heart is beating damn fast la. Then, in the shop the lady used a gun to pierced my lobes and that made me look foolish!!! There was no pain at all!! And I can swear that!!!

Then after the piercing, followed S. to popular then S. followed me to the library (I dont want to go home just yet). Then around 4.30 we went home. Instead, I went to look for my god-sis, A. and she helped me to change the ear-stud to a ear-stick.

OMG, there's blood everywhere!!! Pain? no, just tingling sensation. My PE-shirt was stained from the shoulders to the bottom(luckyly, I didnt wear my Sch-U.)
Sorry A. for staining ur hand with my blood!!! Thats another thing, we dont get it, Why do I have so much blood on my ear?

Yan danced till dawn at 5:54 AM