Memories... happiness bitter sweet or sour locked up in a box...

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

My mother is my jewel, none can take her away from. She is my tears, she is life, she is my love, she is, my mother.

Remember the times when she took care of you since you were born till now. After giving birth to you, none she will see first but you, her child. Heaven is at the feet of your mother, she gave you life thus she is worthy to be given respect to the most.

She will stay up all night, when you're sick as her worries is endless, It times desperation, you're wellfare she will worry and times of happiness too, your happiness she wants it to stay. Tears of a mother, you shall not spill as it is as precious as the milk she's given you. She help you to dress, change your wound, comfort you and she is worthy of respect.

In times when you quarrel with her, her face shows that of anger but her heart shows that of sadness and grieve.

My mum work at night(no father at that time) and later in the day(weekend) she'll work as a part-time maid to bring me up, for my studies and my grandparents. Only she knows how tiring and weary it is to work without rest. She will see me not during the day(even if it is, it'll be an hour or so) for she need to rest to work in the night.

You are her gift from god and she is your gift from god. The greatest gift of all, your mother.
My Mother

Yan danced till dawn at 8:57 AM

Saturday, April 12, 2008

People............You know, I intend to make this personal, but when, you are reading my blog, then joylly well keep it to yourself!!!! I don't mean to be rude but if anything leaks out, I shall have your head off!!!...........................................................................................................................................
Now why are you still reading??? Hmm...never mind, now

Please stop reading

and

FUCK OFF!!!

Yan danced till dawn at 7:27 AM

Friday, April 11, 2008

Hell-lo....................................................................Why do ppl keep refer to me as an EMO-BOY???

REASONS ON WHY I'M NOT EMO:

The only reason that I like black or white or red is because, they are my favourite colours. And I like dark colours because they suit my "dark" skin.Duh!!!
People might asked me sometimes on why I am always alone?(Emo arh?), Hell!!! I'm alone because I'm tired or just simply because I have no one to hang-out with(Do note that most of my friends are girls) and sometimes they have some "private" stuff to talk about which I'm not allowed to listen/know.
I love blood!!! but that doesnt mean that I am EMO!!! I love blood because that is the only thing that is red, after red roses of course.
I love rock music but that doesnt mean I'm EMO!!! I love them, because it was introduced to me by my big Brother, Mother, Step-father and Friends. It is nice ok!!! Good to ignore ppl('cause its loud!!!)
If I 'AM' EMO! then I wouldnt be a caring person towards animals, my lil-brother(half true), my family(also half true), NATURE(now that is true!) and ...(I've no idea)...

The thing is that,--> PEOPLE, I'M NOT EMO!!! REFER TO ME AS A GOTHIC IF YOU MUST!!!(which I don't look like one)

And if you still have a problem with it, then joylly FUCK OFF!!! OK!!! Good, now SCRAM......

OK!!!
GOODBYE!!!
BYE!!!
VAMUSH!!!
END!!!
FULLSTOP DOT COM DOT SINGAPORE!!!

Yan danced till dawn at 6:39 AM

Saturday, April 5, 2008

TODAY!!!! OMG! OMG! OMG! its like so OMG!!!.....kay...stop it ar.....

Today I went for my ATF(Adventure Training {Fucking???}), i dont know the name but it was the scariest and funnest and fuckest(its the name right?) day ever!!! First, we went to the jetty to take a ferry to Pulau Ubin, then we track all the way to NPCC Resilience Camp(tiring sey).

There, we were to cover five station, but I only covered 3(sigh!! sad).

First stop, my squad and I went to the flying-fox. I was a very brave soul untill I reach the top to jump from the 7story high building. You should see my expression(which you can't), at the top, I was reading all kind of prayers that I know till I jump down. Than my expression went blank, because theres suddenly have nothing to be scared of.

Second stop, it was the tunnel (tunnel?? what tunnel??), This tunnel is like a maze used by the japanese to hide from their enemeis to attack(which is not true). Its actually a VERY, VERY, VERY dark tunnel where you can't even see your own hands. In there, I almost stop breathing but I manage to breathe. And Thank God, I manage to get out and stop breathing, I mean start breathing properly.

Third stop. This is so F*** up. High-element is so high(duh!) and it is so the scary, I thought, I can manage it but, I CAN!!! Up there, I read all kind of prayers(Fatihah, the 3 Quls, Takbir, Doa-makan pun ade!!) I was so scared to fall and at the point where the 'ladder' was in my way, I can still shout to ask ppl to get it away(WOW!!)....

Overall, it was fun and tiring but one thing just wouldnt change, I keep falling asleep while waiting for may turn. How amazing is that. So......Chill ppl!!! I'm alive(Happy??? Of course not!!! I'm better dead!!!) kidz............

Bye-Bye!!!

Yan danced till dawn at 7:04 AM

Friday, April 4, 2008

Toady, we had our phototaking, and it was taking too long. I hate taking photos but when i see pictures of my friends together, it never failed to make me jealous....Haha! Blame it all on me!!!

I have this weird feeling that ppl are looking at me in a weird way. I feel lost. Sad. I just had a chat with one of my friends and only then did I know that I am super sensitive(I bet ppl knows that already). Everytime, my friends shout at me(playing or not), I feel hurt, and thoughts of them leaving me is scary.
"MY FRIENDS ARE MY ENCOURAGEMENT" ,but it feel so sad when they will do the totally opposite, makes me discourage.

Like I said, they are the center of my lifes and afterwhich comes my family and the truth is that:
I don't want my friends to leave me. I know that I've told some that I can survive being alone,I'm used to it,without friends but.............those memories is so hurtfull that if they come back, it will turn me mad.

I never want them to go, thats why I'm always sensitive with my friends. Another reason I'm close to my friends is that.........I'm not realy that close to my family like what ppl thought I am. I always feel comfortable with my friends. I wish to turn to god, but he can hear me(Duh!) but I can't(Double Duh!)...I want a voice that encourage me, to advise me, to love me...but god can only love me and show me the way, no voice will ever come out of him.

I'm a boy, a normal boy. Not popular, neither the less. I cloak myself with braveness, stubborness and ignorant but deep inside, I'm weak, meek as a mouse.
I have a heart, I love those who love me and pray that ppl who hate me will love me. I'm afraid to give away my heart, For no other taker can heal the uncured.

This is my biggest fear, and I have another, and I'm sure, if I'm weak, another big fear will haunt me.

Yan danced till dawn at 7:13 AM